We Mend Ourselves!

#DailyPost Born and bred by no-nonsense parents, we all grew up thinking we’ve been made. In our self-reliance, we think we have what it takes to not be morally lax. Parents believe they have done the best jobs; their strictness – their positive push, so they think.
In my not too short life, I’ve observed that the rigidity, most of the time is counterproductive. Yes, parents try, they really do but the methods they employ go long way in moulding an individual. “The strictest parents have the most secretive kids” – whether I read this up somewhere or cooked it up, I remember not but one thing I realize is this is truer than true. Individuals in this category could adopt two different lifestyles; one of advancement and another of regression.
Asides parental influence, most people mould themselves (with the help of God, that is). Inflicted with the disease – “peer influence”, not all those brought up by high handed parents thrive. I’ve realized that a lot of people take their lives into their hands. Beyond what they have been raised to be, they add functional values to themselves. Building and rebuilding oneself, I tell you, is not an easy task. Staying sane is so much more difficult than being a slapdash.
Another thing I’ve noticed is the vulture culture people have adopted, quick to point out people’s errors. Sometimes, people make costly mistakes before they “come back”, so what. We are all made humans, we would make mistakes and we, most definitely, would learn from them. Who we are now is what matters not who we were.
I stumbled upon this beautiful piece on Instagram yesterday;

“She was a beautiful piece of broken pottery, put back together by her own hands. And a critical world judges her cracks while missing the beauty of how she made herself whole again – J.M. Storm”

Just like cracks give a pot some queer beauty, scars make a person beautiful. It is proof that one has lived. It is an evidence of ones’ imperfections.

One thing I know is life is a learning process. You build and rebuild yourself every step of the way. As they say! “Change is constant”, humans are no exception.

Sorry this came a little late. Network is a botch around here.


46 thoughts on “We Mend Ourselves!

  1. Beautiful quote leading up to a wonderful write up. Someone once said that people are blessed with children so that we can learn patience, innocence, unconditional love etc from them. But after becoming parents we forget and try to become instructor instead. Good reminder that we should let the children build and rebuild themselves, by themselves. And appreciate the effort.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Life truly is a learning process…nobody gets through life without making mistakes, we all rise and fall, have crests and troughs,have highs and lows…in my own opinion that’s what makes us human and it’s plain wrong when we judge people for being human or condemn them just coz they fall different than we do when we should be giving a hand .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lovely write-up sis…..I feel the issue with parenting is that parents are scared of their kids making the same mistakes they did and so they actually do believe they are giving the best rules/guidelines/prohibitions but what they forget is that the kids are umique individuals ( who are not carbon copies of them, they also get DNA from the other parent) who would make their own unique mistakes and learn from them in their own unique way

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wao. I’m moved and could agree to the made points. Parenting isn’t so easy like someone said but parents should try to come down to the level of their child, to know them, understand them, be their friend and to know who their child really is. That can be strict because they were brought up that way but I think they need to understand that a child reborn his or herself. Nice one dear shayma. More grace. God bless you and more inspiration dear one.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. what a brilliant write up…I believe parents shld be able to strike a balance btw both I.e leniency and strictness, for effective parenting. bcos while sometimes a child requires a strong hand,at other times a lenient action will be needed to correct or change dat same child… nice one frd

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Yeah. We mend ourselves! Whether we are born and bred by no nonsense parents or ‘yes nonsense’ parents. We mend ourselves despite having all d luxuries of this world and the freewill to do whatsoever.
    ” I’ve observed that the
    rigidity, most of the time is counterproductive”. Yes so also Laxity!
    “The strictest parents have the most
    secretive kids” . Yes the most lenient parents could have more.
    Bottom line is we have to keep building and rebuilding ourselves positively every step of the way.
    And excuse me please, not all scars make a person beautiful oo. There are some weird tribal marks! u know what I mean, and some hypertrophic scars following 3rd, 4th degree burn. Some scars can go rogue.
    Nice piece as always. Keep shining dear.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. They’d take the middle course. There should be a balance between strictness and leniency.
      Lol. I know what you mean.
      Thanks for “flying with me”

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Parenting is not a easy job,its reward is only in seeing the child bloom.To achieve this is not a one way road.The truth is only teenagers should blame their lifestyle on their parents, youths should try to refashion themselves according to how they see themselves in the future.
    Broken pots are the best kind of pots because only then do we see that a transformation has occurred.
    We should learn to see people they are not the way we want them to be. Who is to say what I see aw a fault is really a fault probably it is I who is in error .
    Nice work Rahmat , blazing the path

    Liked by 2 people

  8. An eye opener this is…
    Parenting is actually not an easy task. It is also true most parents adopt strict modalities as a reflection or even a modified version of how they were raised and often believe it’s what is best for their wards…
    In this age of technology, a child can gain access to ANY information, and as such even the strictest of parents cannot control that child’s orientation.
    “We mending ourselves” ; I think it’s better raising a child in a way that the child is comfortable sharing any thought with the parents…that way, the parent does a better job of refining the crude information the child has gotten from the society, the relationship tilts towards interaction and friendship as against instructions and bossy affairs in the stricter modality.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Broken pots everywhere… Reflections of the mother pots
    The problem of the old parents is lack of teamwork.. They compete for the best parent prize and forget that the grasses lie beneath
    But we’ll grow..we want to..we have to..we will

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Oh….please… Tell me about it… While I agree with most parts(would’ve said all… But humans are not perfect) as regards parenting generally esp African parents… The exact same thing applies to them… They really think they are doing what’s best and esp as a corrected version of the way their parents handled things… And honestly sometimes when we’ve had time to calm down.. We’d realise they think they’ve done it the best way they think they should go.. And again I think this issue goes with parenting generally… They’ve had similar stories about their own parents and our children are prolly gonna have very similar ones… In diff contexts tho… Because parenting is no easy business and every child is diff and we need to see them as broken pots too… They are imperfect and many things are responsible for the way they’ve turned out eventually #mysubmission✌

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Glad you voiced out. I’m not saying parents are not doing their parts, they are to the best of their knowledge. All I’m saying is their methods go far in making either rotten individuals or upright ones. While I agree that these methods have been handed down, I believe the new ones can tweak things. It’s not an easy job but it’s a step in the ‘almost’ right direction.
      Tell me which would you prefer; a child who withdraws into himself or one who bares his soul to his parents (without being judged that is)? Do you think those two were handled the same way? My views though.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. sigh. she wrote what I’ve been trying so hard to express over the past few weeks, and beautifully too. You voiced my sentiments about parenting and growth without being verbose, thank you Rahmat. 😊

    Liked by 3 people

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